Yes, an american priest says that the world will end in May 21, it means, Saturday
Speaking of which, you must read this!http://sacramento.craigslist.org/rnr/2388800262.html
It's freaking hilarious XD
Leaving for Heaven Saturday? Have I got a deal for you! (Oakland/SF/Sacramento)
Date: 2011-05-18, 12:12PM PDT
I believe it is in my best interest to not be raptured Saturday therefore I have begun a tactical series of lower tier sins to make sure I stick around the the third planet in our solar system. I base this on a fool-proof mathematical equation I have derived from the bible which beyond a shadow of a doubt indicates that I will become rich off of the possessions of those who have whizzed off to paradise. Mass looting and panic will take place without devout Christians shining influence in the world, would you rather your belongings be stolen and desecrated? Or left in the care of a semi-competent sinner?
I have discovered that most Christians have made no plans for their pets after may 21st? How very rude! They give you affection and you claim great love for them but since they dont have a soul you just leave them high and dry to go kick it with god? Solution! Leave me your pets! I will take good care of them. I will squat Pat Robertson's mansion come the rapture and they will have plenty of room to frolic and live out the end-times with me on my pile of christian gold. I will have plenty of money (your money) to keep them well stocked with kibble and toys, or enough money to buy a gun and rule these wretched streets. I have made a crown engraved with "Duke of Oakland A #1" (graven images ensure I'll stick around right?). It was pretty expensive. Please help me pay that off before Saturday.
I ask only for the entirety of your possessions. You can't take it with you. Maybe God will see this, you reading this ad, once he sees you NOT handing away all your possessions to a total stranger he will not only realize you were a selfish jerk but also realize you were not 100% confident he was gonna roll down and get you Saturday and decide your not worthy of his paradise. Don't take that chance! I hear heaven is super cool!
Please be advised there will be no refunds. Why would you need one right? Unless we are all still here May 22nd. Boy that would be embarrassing! Don't worry though. The bible guarantees it and why would it guarantee something so non-vague and grand for once if it was not true? Why, it would result in anyone with any sense just denouncing religion right then and there. But it will be alright. Saturday is 3 days away. I have a moving truck and wallet ready to be filled. I will also just hang outside family radio on Saturday (to take it over and re purpose it once you all ascend "KPAC-All anarcho-klezmer! All the time!") So feel free to bring your wheelbarrows of loot to me personally.
Put your money where your mouth is. God is watching.